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I don’t know where time passes; it was clearly Christmas yesterday, and amazingly enough, it’s Easter time. Chocolate bunnies, pretty party dresses, and yummy Sunday brunches come to mind.

I remember Easter times and Passover celebrations of the past - the ripeness, the coloring of eggs, having Easter hunts, and never knowing what I’m going to get in those little plastic eggs - some yummy jellybeans or my favorite chocolate malt balls. Getting a new Easter dress to go to my friend’s house to celebrate and drink my spicy hot tea with Sara Lee cake. Then going to my grandma's to celebrate Passover, eating all the special food, and being with my family. Such beautiful gifts I treasure and didn't really understand the significance of those magical days when my parents, grandparents, and siblings were all here to share. I think we gain a whole different perspective as we age and become matriarchs. If you’re lucky enough to have an intact family where you are freely able to share.

Both Easter and Passover have religious significance and involve rituals and traditions that are passed down through generations. Both holidays often involve gathering with family and friends for special meals and observances.

What happens when we get divorced, and one parent thinks they are divorcing the entire extended family? I’m sorry you didn’t divorce your mother-in-law and your brother-in-law with three children who have seen your children on a regular basis every family holiday and go and have sleepovers. They are your children’s friends and cousins.

The long-term effects on children and families of not being in an intact family structure and not having regular interaction with both parents, grandparents, and extended family members can be significant.

Research suggests that strong family bonds and social connections are associated with better physical and mental health outcomes. Lack of interaction with family members can contribute to increased stress, depression, and anxiety for both children and parents.

Maintaining relationships with both sides of the family after divorce helps children feel connected, supported, and loved by all family members. It provides stability, a sense of belonging, and diverse perspectives, contributing to their emotional well-being and overall development. Additionally, it fosters a broader support network for children during challenging times and helps them understand and navigate complex family dynamics.

Overall, the absence of intact family structures and limited interaction with extended family members can have long-term implications for children’s emotional well-being, social development, and overall quality of life. It underscores the importance of maintaining positive family relationships and providing support systems for children to thrive. Here are five tips to consider:

1. Encourage Communication: Foster open communication between both sides of the family, ensuring that children feel comfortable and supported when interacting with relatives from either parent’s side.
2. Plan Regular Visits: Schedule regular visits or gatherings with extended family members to maintain connections and strengthen bonds. This could include holidays, birthdays, or other special occasions.
3. Respect Boundaries: Respect each other’s boundaries and preferences when it comes to involving extended family members in the children’s lives. This can help prevent conflicts and ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.
4. Collaborate on Celebrations: Collaborate with your ex-partner to plan joint celebrations or events involving extended family members, promoting a sense of unity and inclusion for the children.
5. Support Independent Relationships: Encourage children to maintain independent relationships with extended family members, allowing them to develop their own connections and bonds outside of parental influence. This can empower children and provide them with additional sources of support and guidance.

Have a Happy Easter! To me, any holiday is a good excuse to share with friends. Thank you all for the opportunity to be of service and be the beacon of light in the journey of high conflict custody.

From the Queen of Visitations,
Ilene Fletcher

To the parents and Professionals we serve

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